What i was thinking

Daddy,

I love You, today and forever. Know that only a couple days ago i had no doubts, i knew i was Yours and W/we would be together but now i feel them creeping in. Doubts not about whether i love You or whether i am Yours but of when W/we can be together. i wonder at times how long i can cling to You, to the thought of You, to the need to be Yours with such intensity. Because it has been intense lately Daddy. i’ve never felt so obsessed. And i only have so much energy. How long can i keep this up before i need a sabbatical? A rest, a break…to reenergize, to collect myself.

i laid down to sleep but this is all i could think of i knew i had to write it out for You. It’s only fair You know what i’m thinking.

love,

sarah

High Maintenance

Daddy,

Having no job and nothing better to do i’ve read almost all of Confessions of an English Gentleman. But i found his newest entry very interesting. High Maintenance is the title. i’ve never really considered myself high maintenance, especially since my daily wardrobe consists of jeans and a tshirt and i can be ready in less than 30 minutes. But after reading his post on submissives and maintenance, i’d have to say that i am indeed high maintenance. hehe but i bet You already knew that. i need attention constantly. i need to be held, kissed, fucked, and used among so many other things. i need to hear You call me Your good lil girl. But that’s just part of me being submissive. And i love You for understanding and giving me the attention i need.

love,

sarah

Trip

Daddy,

Tomorrow we leave for Florida. i’m going to miss You but i think it’s for the best. We’ll be back on the 5th or the 6th. Please don’t call me while i’m gone.

i hope to talk to You soon.

love,

sarah

missed You

Daddy,

i missed You a lot last night, no i missed You all day. i think about You constantly and it’s really beginning to drive me insane. i’m afraid i might be obsessed with You. heh i just need You so much Daddy. It hurts so much when W/we don’t get to talk. i hope You had a good reason and i hope that You had a good night and slept well.

i wish that when You read my posts You’d leave a little comment just so i know that You’ve read it. i miss You so much and love You.

love,

sarah

i’m sorry again

Daddy,

i’m sorry that last night when You asked for pictures i resisted. Thank You for not pushing me even though You had every right to demand them. i know You’re right, that You will see me shaven and unshaven so it shouldn’t matter. i took some pics last night before i went to bed and i’ll be sending them to You shortly after i write this blog. So i’m not sure which You will see first the blog or the email. Either way i only want to please You Daddy. heh and if seeing my hairy butt pleases You then i don’t have the right to deny You that. i’m sorry and i hope the pics are a pleasant surprise.

love,

sarah

Shopping Trip

Daddy,

me and Jenny went to the SouthPark mall today. It’s pretty upscale but it’s the only mall around here with an Urban Outfitters which is one of my favorite stores. We also went into American Eagle and the bookstore there. i bought two tanktops (one grey one blue), one grey tshirt, one ivory tshirt with a cool design in blue and black on the front , and one thong complete with lil flowers and a bow. It’s only the second thong i’ve ever owned and i can’t seem to find the first. i’m not sure how You feel about thongs but i thought You’d like it. Also bought a book by Vladimir Nabokov, Despair. He wrote the book i’m reading now Lolita.

Hehe, i got a little link happy in this post huh? i just thought it’d be nice if You could see what i’m talking about. i miss You and can’t wait to talk to You.

love,

sarah

Loving Domestic Discipline

Daddy,

After W/we talked about DD yesterday i looked into it a little and found a blog that seems to be very complete in its discussion of DD. i put the link at the bottom of the page so that You can read as much as You’d like but this morning i found a specific article i want You to read. Preemptive Disciplines is the link. It’s a pretty long post but i suppose You’ll read as much of it as You need or want to, as i suspect You might already have a good understanding of its topic.

i’d rather wait and talk to You about it when You get online tonight. But i just have a few questions You can think about before W/we talk. First off, i want to know what Your opinion is and whether You plan to use preemptive and/or maintenance discipline on me. And secondly, i couldn’t help but notice that they (the site) seem to refer to bad behavior has feminine behavior. This just seems odd to me as feminine behavior is certainly not always bad. Also do You think that spanking me is going to be my main form of punishment even though it turns me on? And since it does turn me on just how harsh will the punishment have to be to be effective? Will i have to be brought to tears or bruised?

i miss You Daddy and i can’t wait to talk to You about this because i’m very interested now.

love,

sarah

I’m Sorry part 2

Daddy,

My mind has been running all day. I wonder what you’re thinking about, how upset you are. I wish you’d contact me somehow. I wish you’d scold me so I can move on. It’s torture to have to replay everything I’ve said to you today and wonder what’s going on in your head.

I got really exhausted in the afternoon and laid down to take a nap. I instinctly put my hands between my thighs and then realized I didn’t deserve to cum. So I laid still my hands at my sides and fell asleep. Only to wake up with a pang of guilt and a terrible headache.

I don’t know what to do. I was being so good and trying so hard. You said you were proud of me; it made my lil heart swell so much and I was proud of me too. And I messed that all up in one fell swoop.

I wish I knew if you were reading these posts today. There’s so many already but I just keep thinking of more things to say. I’m sorry Daddy. Please forgive me.

love,

sarah

I’m Sorry

Daddy,

I’m sorry first for not obeying you this morning. It was wrong I know but I just can’t get over it not yet. It’s so hard with you not here. I’m certain with you beside me I would have the courage to do what ever you wished. You’d tell me what a good girl I am and assure me that everything will be ok if only I follow your orders. With your voice stern in my ear, your hand firm on my shoulder, and your eyes smiling at me I could do anything Daddy.

Secondly, I’m very very sorry that after I already disobeyed you I wasn’t ready to talk to you again because of my friend’s sudden leaving. I’m sure that if you weren’t already very upset you are now. It hurt me when you hung up so quickly without a good bye or i love you. And I know I deserved it because I hurt you too.

i love you Daddy and I’m sorry for hurting you and disobeying you. Please forgive me.

sarah

punishment-updated

i disobeyed Daddy today, June 26, 2006 at 9:26am his time. He’s going to whip me, and spank me with both hands then he’s going to face fuck me until my lil throat is so raw.

*Update*

I feel bad about it but not as bad as i probably should and that makes me feel even worse. But I’m content with having to get a punishment even though I don’t know when it will come. Daddy knows sometimes I need to be punished and if ever I really deserved it; it was today because I didn’t disobey just to get scolded and punished but because I truly didn’t want to do what Daddy told me to do. Even though it would have made him so proud and he was very patient about it. I’m sorry I’m not ready to take those sort of risks Daddy.