to Daddy

Daddy,

i wish i knew what to say to You but i don’t. You know i’ve been angry and restless lately and i wish i wasn’t but i can’t help it. i know it hurts You so much and You hate to see me like this. i know You feel helpless to fix it. i don’t want to leave because i know it would hurt You even more. That’s why i’m trying so hard to stay but i feel like that’s only making it worse. i wish i knew what to do but i don’t. i want You to be happy but it seems like i’m slipping into a depression. i guess W/we’ll talk about this soon. i love You.

sarah

Drama

Some people, who have asked not to be linked onto my blog but who had no qualms posting multiple comments, have strong opinions about my writing. They insisted on telling me again and again that my writing is offensive and that me and my Daddy are terrible people.

I understand that every one is allowed opinions and I know that opening my blog allows them to post. But if you find my writing offensive please consider that I’ve already heard the arguments and I do not need to be reminded that what I write about may not sit well with you.

I have my freedom and you have yours, and I will write what I want and you can read what you want. I cannot make you read my blog and I wouldn’t want to. So please don’t be childish, if you don’t like it move along there are plenty of D/s blogs elsewhere. Thank you.

Sidenote: We have updated the About This Blog page.

Desperate

Daddy,

To not be able to be with You hurts like i don’t think even You can understand. You, Daddy have had others. You have tied and spanked and dominated Your fair share of women and girls. And i have barely scratched the surface of my sexuality. Let’s face it the “men” i’ve been with have not helped me out at all in my search for submission. Sure i’ve had my hands tied behind my back, (in fact i’ll admit that is even how i lost my virginity) and i’ve been spanked (half heartedly) but they were just going through the motions. Motions that were prompted by me. So it only makes sense to acknowledge that i am sitting on the verge of my submission. And it is making me restless and irritable and angry and i know that’s bad but its only because it hurts so much. It makes me want to cry and scream and i don’t think You get it. i feel like this every second, all day long. You have Your work and Your life and Your distractions. But i am forced to constantly tick away the days, watching the window of time growing smaller and smaller. And it kills me.

love,

sarah

Waiting

Daddy,

You know when i know You are going to call i can’t sleep. Though last night wasn’t nearly as bad as the first night when i awoke every hour. i woke up early and got a little restless so i got out of bed and decided to write for You. You know yesterday the blog got 27 hits, that’s twice the highest it has ever been. i’m not sure what sparked all those hits and i guess it doesn’t sound like much. But this blog is still so young. i really like wordpress because You can see how many people are looking at your blog and how they got to it. If You haven’t found this feature go to the dashboard and then click on Blog Stats. Anyway i don’t have anything to say really just going to wait around for Your call.

love,

sarah

i want to write

Daddy,

i’ve always secretly wanted to write a book. Lately (within the last year) it’s become more of a need than a want. When i walk into bookstores i find myself wanting to write more than i want to read anything i find. Of course what is there to write about if you don’t write about what you know. So i admit i’ve begun putting together some thoughts on my life, well not my life really but about my time on the internet and the people i’ve met and relationships i’ve had that were based solely on the internet. i wish i had more motivation. That has always been my one downfall, motivation. i’ll procrastinate anything if given the chance.

Just felt like writing about that and telling You about my plans. i miss You, talk to You soon.

love,

sarah

being bad

Daddy,

i’ve been bad lately, huh? i already confessed that i’d been trying to punish You or scare You; even threaten You with a sabbatical. And i am sorry for that. But more shocked that You knew what i was doing even before i realized it myself. i hesitate to say it was a little scary You knew because i do want You to know me completely and understand me more than i do. i think it’s important for Daddys to know every inch of Their daughters inside and out and to know exactly how their lil minds work. But i was shocked when You told me You knew what i was doing because You didn’t say anything about it before i left. i half expected You would punish me.

i know i’ve been bad but i don’t want this to turn into an apology because there’s been so many apologies already. i’d rather talk about why i’ve been bad. Perhaps i was just cranky from my period (which started this morning) but i think it has to do more with me not getting enough attention. i know i can’t expect anything more from You, Daddy. i already feel like i am taking up a lot of Your time and i know You are busy. And it’s not that You aren’t giving me enough attention here because i really do think You are, it’s more that i need real life attention. And i realize there’s really no way to fix that and W/we just have to be patient and i’m going to try but it’s so hard. It’s just so hard to wait even longer for something that’s been building up for 5 years, especially when you can finally see it on the horizon.

i love You, Daddy and i miss You. i can’t wait to talk to You today.

love,

sarah